Pushed to the Edge- (Just let me vent!)

*Sigh*
I love all my children! (really..my kids..not the soap opera) But each and every one of them has their "thing" that pushes my buttons. Well yesterday, they all decided to push that button and I was, well, pushed to the brink. Warning - some of this content is gross!

Jackson - wakes up kicking the door. I mean kicking the door like you think someone is breaking it down. No sweet call for "mama" - just a rhythmic loud BANG, BANG, BANG... and repeat until I get him. He does this in the morning and again when he wakes up from nap.

Mikayla - screams at the top of her lungs and cries over little things. Definitely the epitome of crying wolf. I warn her that someday she will be REALLY hurt and nobody is going to come running because she always screams over little things. One example of this yesterday, she was playing with model magic and was using some of the playdoh tools to make masterpieces. All of the sudden I hear a screaming and crying like the world is coming to an end. She runs up to me, all disheveled. I ask her what happened. She can't even talk, she is that worked up. I look her over and don't see any outward signs of trauma. I have her sit on the couch. After a couple minutes (not an exaggeration) she calms down enough to speak. "I broke my *sniffle* cookie I was making *sniffle* for you and now it is ruined. AHHHHHHHH!!" *screaming and inconsolable crying resume* That's it? No broken bones? No bumps? No bruises? Nope...just a ruined piece of model magic that is designed to be cut and torn and shaped and then reworked to become something else. I tell her she can make another one and she says she doesn't remember exactly how she made the last one. I have her cleanup and go to her room. Of course, she was asleep in less than 5 minutes. As is usually the case, this behavior is exacerbated with tiredness. But I refuse to let her use that as an excuse!

Ryne - not his fault and definitely the most benign annoyance. He is exhibiting natural behaviors for his age. But how many times a day can I dig stuff out of his mouth? Particularly dog food. It's time to find a new location to feed the dog. I just haven't come up with a good option yet.

Jackson & Payton together - they (not sure which one but I think it's Jack) has figured out a way to defeat the "child-proof" cabinet locks. We keep snacks and individually wrapped stuff for Jordan's lunches in a lower cabinet. I confiscated about 30 packs of Doritos, chips, pretzels, granola bars, fruit snacks, etc from the twins yesterday. Some of the times, they were gnawing at the chips from the outside of the packet. Yummy! I can't wait to open those bags. Chip crumbs anyone? I might as well just store this stuff on the counter. Now wait, they have figured out how to get the stool, open it up, climb up, and reach onto the counter also. Basically, no place is safe and unless I want my cups and dishes in a lower cabinet, I have no choice.

Payton - ok so here is where it gets gross. Payton hates clothes and is constantly undressing herself - including her diaper. Most of the time she keeps her diaper on. But there is the occasional, find Payton naked moments. Yesterday I go get the twins up from their nap. (Jackson's BANG BANG BANG indicates they are awake.) I walk up the stairs and the pungent smell immediately annihilates my nostrils! Whew! Somebody pooped. I open the door and the sight and smell is beyond disgusting. Payton is naked, a poopy diaper laying in the middle of the floor. Poop is smeared all over the window and curtain, dresser and door, bed sheets and bed railing slats and is worked into several spots of the carpet. Jackson is fairly clean, except for that one goop of poop that is acting like glue in his hair. Payton on the other hand is covered in poop, some of which has begun to dry and looks like dried mud. All over her belly, legs, 2 clumps in her hair, her one foot, and then...perhaps the grossest - her fingernails look like she painted them with poop. UGH! This is not the first time she has done this...but it is perhaps the most expansive episode. I have 10 minutes before I have to leave to get Jordan off the bus. I get the worst of it off of them, throw the linens in the washer with lots of bleach, get Jordan, and resume the cleaning.

Jordan - by this point I've had enough of poop. Since I have the bath/shower train running, I decide to give Jordan his bath before dinner. He takes off his clothes and I find his underwear - streaked with poop stains. I have had the 'wipe until the paper is clean' speech two times already this week and had to throw away 1 pair of underwear. He's so shy and humiliated at this issue he can't even describe to me what the problem is. So I'm not sure how to help him. I've had Darin demonstrate. We tell him use lots of paper and flush each time to not clog the toilet. We have flushable wet wipes in every one of our bathrooms. But I think this happened at school and they don't have wet wipes. Perhaps I should try to arrange for that to happen. I know he's not alone. In fact, the other day, one little girl got off the bus wearing a different shirt than what she went to school wearing. Her mom asked what happened and she loudly and proudly said that she pooped and when she was wiping she got poop all over her shirt. Her shirt?!? Ok..so maybe Jordan is doing better than some. So I know he isn't alone in this problem. My one friend doesn't even let her kids try to wipe, she does it for them. But that doesn't change my frustration and wanting to help fix the issue. And someday he will hate me for having record of this! Sorry, man! I love you!

So I'm pretty frazzled by this point. Dinner hasn't even been started and it's now almost 7pm. Darin, of all nights, worked late. So the kids had hot dogs, chips, apples and milk for dinner. Darin got home around 8:15pm. I think I fell asleep by 9:30. This morning I was awakened with the *Boom Boom Boom* I open the door to the twins room. Payton is again, naked. Thankfully it was only a pee pee diaper, but the clean sheets were off her mattress and the mattress was in shreds. She tore the white plastic off of the mattress?! How long was she awake?

So I'm off to get a new mattress and duct tape. I swore I would never resort to that, but it's a lot more sanitary! Payton will have her diapers duct taped at nap and bedtime. Then I get to go to work tonight to clean up adult poop. Yes! I can't wait =)

Spaghetti Anyone?

I checked in on Payton and Jackson before I fed Ryne his Spaghetti. They both were doing so well, using their forks very carefully. Thinking it was ok to leave, I fed Ryne his food, gave him a bottle, and put him to bed. I knew I was in trouble when I heard the laughter coming from the dining room. But I figured by that point it was already too late to avoid a mess. I was right.

Mommie Faux Pas

So Jordan almost missed the bus today! Why? Not because he didn't wake up on time. Not because he didn't eat his breakfast quickly enough. Not because he took his time getting dressed. Nope, Jordan almost missed the bus because I gave him Mikayla's pants to put on by accident. We were already outside on the sidewalk walking to his bus stop. I glanced down and something at the bottom of his pantleg caught my eye. I thought one of our foamy craft stickers managed to get stuck on his pants. Upon closer inspection, this is what I found:

A cute little embroidered girly detail. UGHH! Luckily Darin was still home. He began to help take off Jordan's shoes and pants while I tracked down his pants. Then together we redressed Jordan. I think that was record kid dressing time! We hopped in Darin's car and he drove us to the bus stop. Just as Jordan opened the car door, the bus arrived. I gave him a quick kiss and told him to have a good day. He gave his typical smile and wave as he got on the bus. Whew! Minor disaster averted.

Feeling Thankful - a serious post

I belong to a Mothers of Multiples group. Among the many hats I wear for the club, 'Philanthropy Chair' is the one I have recently donned the most. I LOVE this responsibility. Over the years, I have found that there is a fine line between selflessness and selfishness. And that line is beginning to blur for me right now; because while I'm helping others, it makes me feel really good! If you are a philosopher, I believe act utilitarianism is at work here. It's all for the greater good, right?

For Thanksgiving, our club donated all of the perishable items to a transitional home that houses 12 women and their young children whom are trying to pick themselves up out of their varied difficult situations to make a better life for their family. I received the wishlist, did the grocery shopping, stored and delivered the food just before Thanksgiving. Jordan and Mikayla knew what I was doing and Mikayla (and the 3 little ones) were with me when I delivered the food. Three big turkeys and three big hams. 20 lbs of potatoes, gallons and gallons of milk, etc. There was a lot of food. I got to meet several of the women while I was there. One thing stood out. These women don't have many things. They arrived with literally the clothes on their backs. One woman requested a particular veggie. Another woman saw it and said how she would love to have that same veggie but she didn't request it. Without hesitation, the first woman handed over her veggies to the second woman. I had a moment of pause. Now that was selfless!

It just so happens that the woman whom handed over her food is also the woman that our club is sponsoring for Christmas. Her actions spoke volumes to me that day. And I have been working hard to try to get everything on her wishlist and make this a wonderful Christmas for her and her family. Our club and it's members have been extremely generous. I am thankful for that.

I'm also thankful for this dose of reality. It's so easy to get wrapped up with material things. We live in a townhome and have constantly been talking about how we have outgrown it. How we need a bigger single family home. We have been frustrated that we are stuck where we are because of the lull in the housing market, among other things. But you know what...we have a nice, warm home. We are comfortable. We are healthy and our bellies are full. It would be nice to have a larger home...but it certainly is far from a NEED. It was nice to step back and be thankful for all that I have instead of mourning the things that I don't have.

Censoring Toys for the Needy - a post within a post
I have tried to teach Jordan and Mikayla the concept of giving. They are starting to get it. They will both be picking out a toy and giving it to Toys for Tots. Jordan knows exactly what he is going to get. Mikayla on the other hand had to go shopping to scout out the possibilities. She pointed at everything we saw and said "...that would be good for a little girl..." "...I bet she would like that..." Then we came to the Bratz dolls. Mikayla said "Mom, I'm definitely not going to get her a Bratz doll. 'Cause what if her mom doesn't let her have Bratz? Then she wouldn't get a toy at all, and that wouldn't be good!"

I don't let Mikayla have Bratz =)

Another example of Mikayla's rudimentary understanding of giving goes back to when we were talking about what was on her Christmas list. She said she wanted a Barbie dollhouse. I pointed out that she already had 3 different doll houses and she didn't need another one. Mikayla said, "Well how about I give my Dora Castle away to a kid that doesn't have anything." I said, "That would be nice Mikayla." Then she said, "And then I could get the new dollhouse." I laughed and then explained to her that giving things away was really nice and thoughtful but that didn't mean she would get an upgrade on the item she gave away. She gave her typical "Oh" response. She's learning.

You Be The Judge

*warning picture of baby in diapers*

- for those of you that know me well, know that I swore my kids would NEVER just be in a diaper. Well, some of my kids hate clothes and it is a battle to keep clothing on them. Sometimes I don't feel like fighting that battle.

Conan The Barbarian or Olivia Newton-John?

Vacation's Over

I bet you were worried my blogging jaunt was over! Never fear, I was just not home. And it's not real easy to blog from an unfamiliar computer...OK..well it is real easy to blog from, well, pretty much any computer. None-the-less, I took a break and now I'm back with 90% of my Christmas shopping done and 100% of the gifts in my possession wrapped. Can I get a Who Hoo?!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We had a very wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. I will post some pics and stories from our holiday shortly.

Oh, an update on the Santa Train tickets! Today was the day they went on sale. I scrambled to get all 5 kids dressed and fed and out the door in time for Jordan to get his bus at 8:45am. Which of all days was a little late, of course. Doesn't the driver know I have some place to be and that line is only growing longer by the minute? Jordan got on the bus and we promptly pulled away. I parked in a parking spot that was marked "Special Event Parking". Well, wasn't this a special event? It took me about 5 minutes to get all the kids out of the car with jackets, socks, and shoes on. See, if I put these items on beforehand, they not only wind up off but they will be missing by the time we get out of the car. Then we braved the line and cold rain for about an hour to purchase our Santa Train tickets. I only had to put Jackson's shoes back on once, Payton's back on 4 times, and Ryne decided he would rather chew on his right shoe than leave it on. Oh well, I tried. So we wait in line and get the typical comments. "Oh wow, you brought the whole nursery with you!" (That was a new one!) "Wow, are all of them yours?" "My you have your hands full!" "Are they triplets?" (all of which are definitely not new ones) I answered each and every one of them politely with a smile. Finally, we get to the front of the line. Mikayla walked up to the woman and waited very patiently to be helped. The woman looked around and looked at me and said "Who is this little girl with?" I said "She's with me, but she is purchasing tickets on her own". Mikayla said "I would like 3 tickets to the 10:30 Santa train please" and handed the woman $15. The woman gave Mikayla the tickets and said "Enjoy the train!" Mikayla was so proud of herself! She did a great job! I was up next and was able to get my 6 tickets. You might be doing the addition quickly in your head...3 + 6 = 9. No, we aren't expecting another set of twins. Grandma Wagner and Great Grandma Ague will be visiting that day and will be joining us on the train. So, mission accomplished! WHO HOO!

Sesame Street (in crayon)

Grover & Ernie

Artist: Jordan

October 2007

Food Coma

I posted yesterday while the kids ate lunch. It really didn't take me all that long -honest! This is how I found Ryne. I wonder what will happen when he eats Turkey tomorrow. The tryptophan may prove to be too much. Perhaps he'll fall asleep mid-bite.

Future Nurse Perhaps

Have you seen the My Twinn Dolls? They are really cute dolls that you can have made to look like your child. Then you can buy matching outfits for your child and the doll. Did I mention they are really cute? I think they charge extra for the cuteness factor. Here's an example:

Well I had been hiding a catalog because I was considering purchasing one for Mikayla for her birthday or Christmas. Mikayla happened upon the magazine and proceeded to say how these were really beautiful dolls. As she paged through, she said she would like one that looked like her and one of the baby dolls. Then when she got to the Doll Hospital page, she saw this picture:

Mikayla gasped and said, “Oh Mom, that’s the one I want! You know I like taking care of people!”

The Kindergarten Smile?!

I've noticed that kids around Kindergarten age plaster this kinda smile on their faces (see U6 soccer picture below). And I know a school picture wouldn't be a school picture if it was perfect. But...in the age of DIGITAL CAMERAS, how does this happen? We personally own a camera that if you hold the button down, it will keep snapping a zillion pictures. At least one of them is bound to be really good. Why can't the school photographers do the same? I mean really? It looks like Jordan is about to have a really nice smile in about 4 seconds. Just another example of "I'm just here to collect a pay check and go home." A little pride people...a little pride.

Don't get me wrong. This picture of Jordan still speaks volumes. He has shed almost all of his little kid features and is looking more and more grown up. *sniffle* And my isn't he handsome -if I do say so myself? Just could have captured his nice, broad smile a little better.

Largish Family Discrimination

The local train has a Santa train every year on one day in December. It's fun. You get to ride on the train. Get a coloring book and candy cane. And Santa pays a visit to each car.

In order to get tickets you must find out ahead of time when tickets go on sale, be at the sale location early to get in line, and purchase the tickets. Hopefully you noted on their website where it says “cash and checks only”. Because someone like myself – the person that NEVER has cash and is lucky to remember where the checkbook is because you NEVER EVER use the checkbook – could get stuck waiting for nothing. You would think that these were Hannah Montana tickets as quickly as they sell out. Ok. Not quite. And they’re only $5 per person instead of like $13,000 for 4.

But anyway, this year we have one more hurdle to jump. You can only purchase 6 tickets per person. So I called the train station and explained that I have 5 children so for our whole family to go on the train I need to purchase 7 tickets.

“I’m sorry ma’am, we cannot sell more than 6 tickets to anybody except for the 1:30 train” was her response.

So why don’t I want the 1:30 train you may ask. Because it’s right in the middle of the day where all the kids are more likely to melt down. I might as well spend $35 to stab myself in the eye. So I nicely said to the woman that the policy wasn’t really fair to large families and hung up.

I started thinking about this. I will have all the kids with me in line (minus Jordan). Mikayla can talk. Mikayla can purchase her own ticket. So I told Mikayla that I would give her money but she would have to ask for a ticket on the 10:30 train and give the woman the money. She said “Sure mom, just write me a note so I remember what to say.”

Did I mention she can’t read?

Halloween Pics

Our version of Venom (the black spiderman), Batgirl, Roo, Piglet & Eeyore.

All the excitement got to the twins =0)

Thank goodness for the wagon.

Eeyore's hitchin' a ride with Daddy.

Proud Soccer Mom

We just wrapped up soccer for the fall season. Here are the kids' pictures from this season:

Mikayla dominated in her U5 league. She had 7 goals in one game! It's fun to see her getting aggressive on the field - pushing, shoving, going after the ball...no matter who has it. Now we just have to work on the "team work" aspects, like not taking the ball away from her teammates.

Jordan was in the U6 league. This league was much more competitive than U5. It was fun watching these kids develop. They are starting to really build on the fundamentals of dribbling, passing, trapping & shooting. Jordan played well and had a lot of fun. He couldn't stop laughing on the field because he was so happy. Now if we can focus that energy next season...the possibilites are endless!

Can you smell what the Jack is cookin'?

I should preface this story (and many others) by saying that I do have control over my children. They are just fast little buggers and I happen to be about 1 step behind them. I've become a lot less judgemental about some of the stories you read about. "It all happened so quickly." "I turned my back for a second." Sometimes it truly is just 1 second! So...don't judge me =)

10/24/07
“Mommy, what smells like onions?” asked Mikayla. I go to the kitchen to explore the alleged odor. “Why that would be the gas to our oven, Mikayla. Stand back!” I replied. Yep. Turns out Jack was playing with the knobs to the stove. He put the front burner on ignite. At least he didn’t turn the flame on. Bad news – I have no idea how long he bled the gas line and can only be thankful there wasn’t a spark that would have set the whole house on fire. Good news – my sister found these plastic inserts that keep the knobs from being pushed in to ignite the burner. Now we can all rest a little easier!

“Do as I say, not as I do” from a 19-month-old

The other day, Ryne got a hold of the Desitin that we so lovingly refer to as “Butt Cream”. Payton went up to him and said “NO”, took it away from him, and handed me the tube of cream. What a helper! She's already acting as another set of eyes for me. Oh, but 10 minutes later, this is what I find:

Payton, holding the tube, with butt cream all over her face and Ryne next to her. Ryne had a couple finger swoops of cream on his face, too. At least she shared!

Where was Jack when all of this was going on? On the dining room table of course!

Later that day, Mikayla lovingly buckled Jackson in the child rockers we have. She then proceeded to buckle herself in the one next to him. Why am I writing about this? Because she couldn’t unbuckle herself. Oh the temptation to not leave her in there for a long long while…but then, what kind of mother would I be?

You're supposed to check out a book?

Jordan’s first trip to the school library was great. He was able to see all of the wonderful books at his disposal and learned the process of checking out a book. When Jordan got home from school that day, I expected to find a library book in his backpack. I looked through every pocket (my there are a lot) to no avail. I asked Jordan where his book was. He said “Mom, the librarian said the books have to be back at a certain time and I was worried I would forget it”. He's such a conscientious little boy. So I reassured him that I would help him remember to take his book back on time. Hopefully next library day I will find a book in his backpack.

About Us - A Baker's Half-Dozen!

Momma Brownie - A 29* year-old wife, mother of 5, active member in the twins club and PTO. While still considered young in years by many, life experience has me listed as "old for her age". Well, life experience and all that grey hair - thanks dad! I still work as a nurse part-time in an adult critical care setting. In my spare time (ha ha ha), I enjoy watching tv, doing philanthropy work, reading girly fiction, watching football, and going out with friends.*Please note, actual age will be omitted next year*

Brownie (The Original) - A 33 year-old husband, father of 5, officer in the Air Force, marathon finisher. He works at the NRO as an Operations Research guy. In his free time, he enjoys playing XBox 360, teaching himself how to build a website - asp.net, SQL server, etc- and running. OK. He doesn't love running but he does it, and he finished all 26.2 miles on foot, and we are VERY proud of him!

Jordan (JT) - 6 year-old Kindergartner. He is our handsome, introverted, sweet and sensitive child. Enjoys drawing, learning to read & write, watching tv, legos, bionicles, transformers & superheroes. Named after Michael Jordan - greatest basketball player ever & former Chicago Bull.

Mikayla (Kayla) - Almost 5 year-old. She is our beautiful, carefree, mother hen type. Enjoys dancing, taking care of her siblings & dolls, learning what her brother is learning, playing Wii & Leapster, watching tv. Also named after Michael Jordan.

Jackson (J, Jack, Jack-Jack) - 21 mos. He is our dimple bearing cutie with pent-up aggression that sometimes shows it's face. He enjoys rocking out to music, playing with Keisha (the dog), pushing buttons on the subwoofer and receiver, watching tv, and occasionally tackling his siblings - even the bigger ones. Named after Phil Jackson, arguably the most successful NBA coach with 9 NBA Titles including 6 with the Chicago Bulls.

Payton (P) - 21 mos. She is our cute little daredevil - afraid of nothing and into everything. She jumps, she climbs, she sneaks, and she's fast. Catch her when she's sleepy and there's never been a better cuddler. She is named after Walter Payton, the late-great hall of fame running back for the Chicago Bears.

Ryne (Ry-Ry) - 10 mos. He is Darin's mini-me. He has a great smile with a hearty laugh. He enjoys a good bottle, playing with cars & trains, hitting the drum, keeping up with his siblings, and putting everything he can into his mouth (including dog food). He is named after the Chicago Cubs hall of fame second baseman, Ryne Sandberg.

Why I Blog

I have been thinking about blogging for a while and finally decided to go through with it. It's a commitment that I had to be ready to make. Sometimes life gets too hectic to document everything. I mean, Jordan has a baby book. Mikayla has a library of pictures that we took, albeit they're still on the computer and have yet to be printed. Jackson, Payton & Ryne...well we rely on my mother to take pictures at visits and family events. I'm already getting the mommy brain -that is scattered in a million different directions- and I don't want to lose these precious moments forever. So if for no other reason, I blog to snapshot the bits and pieces of our lives so we can relive them long after the details have faded from our memory. Hopefully in the process, our friends and family will enjoy reading about our adventures and seeing our family grow (older...not in numbers! There will be no more little Brownies)!